By Jack “RaptorJack” Acebedo
Anybody who plays Minecraft will see someone with that one skin over and over again, it doesn’t matter what server you are on. These people took the band wagon approach, using the most common skins, and to be honest it’s quite annoying. I want to preface this article by saying that I do not wish people would stop using these skins completely, they’re just too common (although I will make an exception for a couple of the excruciatingly bland ones).
10. Steve/Alex Skin
This was a hard decision to make… since so many people use these player models, but come on guys! This game is supposed to be about creativity! These skins take the fun out of it. Most people who use these either don’t know where to get skins or are lazy to look. It’s also very confusing these days, since Markus Persson (Notch) released the 1.8 update, which included the new standard female version (dubbed “Alex”) some people don’t realize what they look like, and it confuses people as to what gender you are. Just today some “lady” in the game walked up to me, asked me if I wanted to grab a couple of brews with “her” and called me “broski”. MOVING ON!
9. Mob Skins
Now here’s a style of skin that interrupts gameplay! Most newcomers to Minecraft believe that this skin will be perfect for them. Of course, they never have their friends in mind, who are left wondering “WHO’S THE REAL BADDIE?!” You seriously end up swinging at them, accidently killing them. The majority of players who use this skin, are people who love the look of the mobs Mojang designed, and who can blame them? I think the mobs look really nice, but in their own way. The exception to the rule would be mobs that have inhuman proportions, like this:
8. Knights/Ender Mages
This was another hard decision; it was between this and those weird creeper cyborg Terminator rip-offs. Most people who use these can’t seem to fathom what environment they’re in. I often find myself wandering the landscape in the “wasted” game, with an AK-47 equipped and at the ready (this is all thanks to the custom texture pack of course), when some guy comes spilling down the street, in a mage’s shawl, guns a blazin’. Seems as though there were 3 rings, and one gun to rule them all!
7. Master Chief Skins
Oh boy, here they come, down the map in every shape, size, and color! Ever since the days of Red vs. Blue (Which by the way is a great series!) players have dedicated themselves to making every different shade imaginable of the Master Chief/Spartan armor. Sure you can have orange armor, but that does not make you Grif, soldier! Speaking of which, one famous YouTuber that uses this skin is Geoff Ramsey, founder of the Achievement Hunter sub-network of Rooster Teeth. He also does the voice-work for Grif in RvB. Anyways, enough fun facts! Besides, it’s anti-climactic to see Master Chief, who is a supremo badass with a needler gun, wielding a bow in battle, but I will admit, if they get a flame enchantment on that greasy corker, he’s badass in my book.
6. Fox-tail Hoodies/ Fox-tailed people
Samson’s furry fetish aside, what is this monstrosity?! I’ve never understood the concept of a furry, and truthfully I’m going to say this is weird. Is this where we are headed in terms of evolution? Will we all be fox people? I’m blissfully happy though, luckily for me and my brother Daniel (Who inspired me to write this article), we will be six feet under at that point, so I don’t give a monkey’s left nut. It’s also a case of the mermaid complex, how is one supposed to make love to a fox’s lower half? Then again I’m a robot, so how does one make love to a robot? Well, I guess they did it in Binary Domain (See Bubba’s article). Anyways this is a trend I’d like to see stopped, it’s like that dumb Bakugan movement that happened when I was in 5th grade, that I was totally a part of.
5. Steve skin remakes
Mojang already made the original Steve skin, no need to remake it! I may be a narcissist, and an attention hog, but I hate role players and people that think that Mojang will actually use this stuff to recode THEIR games to feature these skins. Ha! *Scoff* tis’ a pipe dream to think about, and why think about pipes? The Steve skin remake is an unnecessary addition to the Minecraft community. When designing or choosing a skin you should be original!
4. Hoodie Guy
Now this one is painfully common, which is scary. It can even be female! These skins are a dime a dozen. This skin features a hoodie with various styles, headphones, and random creeper insignia on the back. If you want to look somewhat like your real life counter-part, then just go for a walk outside, and try punching a tree. The question for me is why do people like this skin so much?! Is it because it looks like a normal person? Is it what the kids call hip? I don’t quite get the reason behind it, but half the people on every server I join seem to always have this skin, and it’s quite obnoxious.
The same principle applies here to Mob skins as the Steve skins. This is the reason Daniel and I hate the skins that we do. These skins aren’t just limited to the game, they appear in posters, videos, even music videos! What?! These skins are also a bargain bin special, with a wide variety of mobs to choose from.
Just two more to go now, and they are real stinkers…
2. Youtuber Skins
Six year olds, rejoice! This is another one that rubs me the wrong way. People think they’re cool when they’re walking around dressed as somebody else, right? Nobody would ever dress as someone else in real life, for that would make you a cross-dressing serial killer, like Michael Jackson (R.I.P.). Don’t even get me started on the impersonators, who pretend to actually be the YouTubers for attention. Now, I considered putting this at the top of the list, but there’s one that I could not deny the spotlight as number 1…
And the number 1 spot goes to…
OH…MY…GOD… ZE HORROR! Who in their right minds made this?! It looks like Steve had an Enderman spooge all over his face, making some creepy genetic experiment straight out of resident evil! Steve must have spent some quality time with an Enderman, they fornicated and produced this garish and bizarre ass-baby. Do I need to say anymore? Look at this monstrosity!